priya tuli's randombloggz

Over the years, you lose track of how many gazillion times you've been asked, "So, why don't you write a book?" After years of mumbling lame replies and being totally consumed with guilt and inadequacy, which in turn afflicted me with an itch I spend most of my waking time scratching, I finally hit upon the perfect reason. 1001 of them, in fact.

# 1. I'm not really a fiction writer

# 2. Who needs more books?

# 3. I can't use paper, the rainforests are dying

# 4. Every story there is has already been told

# 5. I'll start tomorrow, after I finish this project I'm working on

# 6. Writing doesn't pay the bills

# 7. What would I write about?

# 8. I'll start next weekend, at the beach

# 9. I lost the little notebook where I jotted down my story ideas... all 5 of them

#10. I can't write without my laptop and the beach shack has no power

#11. What would I write about?

#12. What if I wrote and e-book? Hmm, must think that one through sometime

#13. I'll write the next time we have a thunderstorm, all that energy is totally inspiring!

#14. People don't read much any more, except for txt msgs

#15. I'll write when I have free time for 3 days in a row

#16. Maybe I should learn to draw instead

#17. Should I write a children's book?

#18. Damn, the cats are fighting

#19. Damn, I spilled a vodka-tonic into my laptop

#20. Damn, I just saw a UFO, did you see that? Is this an alien takeover?

#21. Okay, I am going to sit here and write 500 words, if it takes me all night.

#22. Just as soon as I get a coffee

#23. Too many mosquitoes, I can't concentrate

#24. After I've watched the 10 rental DVDs which are already 5 days overdue

#25. Okay, finally got another project! No time off till next month now...

#26. I really need to tweeze that chin hair, it's 2 inches long by now

#27. The computer crashed when I was doing some web research on a story

#28. Maybe I should sleep early tonight, it's only 3 am...

#29. Okay I got a title, now I just need to throw in 500 words and I'm done

#30. Yawnnn...

#31. It's either write and get paid, which is work, or it's write and don't get paid, which is scary. I mean, how many people actually get a book deal that will buy them a lifetime supply of catfood and a small island somewhere remote?

#31. Still only at the title...

#33. Maybe if I started a list of what I DON'T want to write about?

#34. Or if I just did pictures; then I could write really big captions

#35. When you've spent most of your working life writing headlines and advertising copy, your subliminal mantra is "keep it short!" A book is not short!!!

#36. They say the first line takes the longest time to happen, and then you're on a roll

#37. It's been several years since that first line happened and I ain't rolled nowhere yet

#38. Last week there was this HUGE thunderstorm and I thought we'd get flooded!

#39. We didn't get flooded...

#40. but we might have.

#41. ...

#42. *&^%$#$%^&

#43. I could write about lactose intolerance

#44. Or peeling grapes?

#45. I could cut random words out of magazines and arrange them to form a story

#46. It would take at least a month to do 500 words that way, but it could work

#47. to #1000: repeat #1-#46 above in random order and wake me when you're done... I'm off to bed now.